The man, the myth, the pseudo lovejoy. This man is one of the great icons of 21st century BBC television, yes he is an antiques expert. His status in the daytime television arena is due to his intense knowledge of all things old, and of course to a visual Gimmick: he looks like that fictional antiques dealer "Lovejoy" which gives those of us old enough to remember the late eighties a sense of understanding the man, warming to him as the lovable rogue.
On the 29th of August 2000 I was fortunate enough to be granted an interview with the " 'tique meister". Due to issues of security and personal safety for David (It must rembered that Ian McShane has been sending death threats to him written in Blood saying "There can only be one Lovejoy, and Tinker is his messenger". Tinker being of course the assasin sent to get David) the interview was conducted in full public view in Betty's Tea Rooms in the city of York.
The following is a transcript of the interview, be warned those of you who are clean cut religous types, and are offended by everything may find this disturbing as strong language is used by David and antiques are mentioned from the outset.
Interviewer Hello David, can I just say what a great honour it is to meet you,Is the venue to your satisfaction?
David Now this really is a touch of class
Interviewer Firstly what got you into antiques in the first place?
DavidThey say "red sky at night is a shepherd's delight" but is it? They say "cows laying down will bring rain" but does it?
Interviewer Mmmmm!?! I guess thats as good a reason as any, but..........
At this point the waitress brought our Tea to our table..
Interviewer Whoa! I'll have to come here more often that waitress is hot!!
DavidPersonally, I wouldn't touch this with a barge pole and neither should you.
Interviewer Whats wrong with you man? I would have that you would have gone for a young woman like that...
David (shrugging head) it's as cheap as chips!!
Interviewer I am sorry I just don't have your expert eye for women, what should I be looking out for when I am on the pull for example?
David then beckoned the waitress back over to our table and pointed out what was wrong with her..
David This example has been altered,that's an absolute no-no.
Interviewer Altered?, in what way? How can you tell?
David Watch out for unusual plumbing - this particular example has this nasty surprise.
InterviewerUrgh!! I see what you mean, What else can you tell me about it?
DavidThis example is worth peanuts or is scrap value. And by the way, if they'd caught the guy in the 19th century who altered this, he'd have been sent to Botany Bay.
David then went over to a well dressed woman seated opposite to us
Interviewer This looks an expensive example to me
David A real bargain
Interviewer How do you know this?
David Just look at the quality finish on these legs, and still the original feet too!
InterviewerI'm not sure I can afford it
David At �14,000 it's the price of a small swimming pool, but I know what I'd rather have
At this point I spotted what I thought was a superior specimen over to my left..
Interviewer What about this one, is it a better investment?
David (Wobbling eyebrows) Its a close run thing, but either way its a good long term investment.
Interviewer Well thanks for your time David.
David It was a pleasure, but I have to go and work on my tan, got an image to maintain you see!!
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